Archive: Jordan

Alex Reid is a vagina

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I don’t really mean that since the guy is a MMA fighter and could behead me with just his feet. Anywho Alex Reid is scared to tell his wife Katie Price AKA Jordan AKA The Sperm Dumpster that he doesn’t want to get plastic surgery after she suggested it.

Sources told a Sunday newspaper that the 34-year-old is “too scared” to tell Katie that he does not want to have the treatments.

An insider allegedly told the News of the World that Katie is unhappy with the cage-fighter’s busted nose.

A source is reported as saying: “Alex’s nose has been broken about 20 times because of the fighting. But she doesn’t like it that way.

What kind of man is Alex? Women are not men, we rule these bitches. They do as we say, if they don’t like it we have a door they can walk out of. I’m only kidding, well in this case I’m not. Some deserve to be alone for the rest of their life.

Filed under: Jordan, News

Hopefully it’s not like JonBenet

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Is there anything more creepier than when a mom dresses their daughter up in all that makeup and forces them to be in the child beauty pageants? Which brings me to Katie Price AKA Jordan AKA will-suck-for-TV-time posting this picture on her Facebook of her daughter. Like I’ve been saying she’s obsessed with her ex, bitches be crazy.

The fuming pop star told the Daily Star: ‘If I’m to be honest, I’m absolutely disgusted.

‘It’s a two-year-old girl with false eyelashes, full make-up for the whole world to see, dressed like that. I don’t want to see it.’

The 36-year-old first saw the sexed up photo of his daughter, who he had with ex-wife glamour model Katie Price, on the front page of the Daily Star on Wednesday.

Filed under: Jordan, News

Were not that lucky

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Katie Price AKA Jordan AKA Michael Jackson AKA What-the-eff-is-up-with-her-face told the media that she will die in a car crash like Princess Diana.

‘Sometimes I think it might be a Diana moment because the way the press chase me outside my house and try and run me off the road.

‘It wouldn’t surprise me if it’s a car crash and I always say that.’

‘I can’t wait to be Reid-inated now. Impregnated. We’re absolutely dying to have a baby.

I’m so hoping that by the end of this series that I can announce that I’m pregnant,’ she told me at her press conference.

I wonder how much her death pix would go for? Didn’t those pix of Princess Diana dead in her car prove to be fake? How annoying is the “i can’t wait to be pregnant!” statement. When a girl can’t stop saying how happy she is means she’s lying and is actually miserable. She’s exactly what i hate about women. Where’s that driver and tunnel when you need it?

Filed under: Jordan, News

Welcome to Hollywood…Kill yourself

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Hollywood truly is weird. Do people that do this to their face really feel good about themselves afterward? Speaking of a whore here’s Katie Price AKA Jordan AKA sucky sucky for TV time. Why do women do this? Jordan looked incredible before she did that to her face. Seriously if your so insecure with yourself why not get help or kill yourself? Of course I’m not advocating suicide even though that’s exactly what it sounds like. I’m just saying wouldn’t you rather be dead then look like Joan Rivers?

Filed under: Celebrity Candids, Celebrity Cleavage, Jordan

She’s not even realistic anymore

Is that’s the next trend? Not looking like an actually person? If that’s the case then Jordan is in a league of her own. Banging normal looking women? That’s old school homie, I’m trying to nail ET’s cousin.

Filed under: Celebrity Candids, Celebrity Cleavage, Jordan
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