Archive: Angelina Jolie

American baby hater has twins

Overrated actress Angelina Jolie gave birth to twins yesterday. In unrelated news i stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night.

“Everything went smoothly. The children are doing very well, the mother is doing very well and the father is doing very well,” gynaecologist Michel Sussmann told AFP.

Knox Leon weighed 2.27 kilos (five pounds) and Vivienne Marcheline 2.28 kilos.

Pitt, who had already attended the birth by caesarean of their daughter Shiloh, “was very calm and was not at all disturbed” by the operation, said Sussmann.

These magazines are getting out of hand with the baby pix. Hmmm i wonder what charity Angelina is gonna give some of that money too…

Filed under: Angelina Jolie, News

She’ll always munch the rug

American baby hater Angelina Jolie’s former lesbian lover has spoken out saying that Angelina is not done with women cause she’s loves them too much. Umm nice?

‘I was her first,’ she says. ‘And although she’s having a baby with Brad, I doubt I’ll be her last.

‘She loves women too much It’s like a drug and she was hooked.

‘Angelina loves danger and dabbling in the dark side. That’s where she gets her kicks – not playing happy families with one man.’

That story seems hot but do you know what Angelina’s former lesbian lover looks like? Yeah that’s her, when i think about Angelina going down on a chick i think about the chick looking like Christina Aguilera not a real lesbian you’d see on the street. Booo reality.

Filed under: Angelina Jolie, News

Angelina gives money to guess who?

To an American school in New York City! Naw you know i’m kidding, she doesn’t give money to American schools. Angelina Jolie and her baby daddy has given $1 million to Iraq war kids.

Generous Hollywood supercouple Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have donated $1 million (£500,000) to help children affected by the war in Iraq.

The couple’s Jolie-Pitt Foundation gave $500,000 (£250,000) to three separate groups in the war-torn country, which will go towards helping increase the educational support for 5,700 children, says the Education Partnership for Children of Conflict, of which Jolie is a boardmember.

I talk alot of shiite about Angelina but it’s good she is giving money to a real good cause. I’m just wondering has she ever visited Walter Reed? Or a place that helps wounded soldiers? Even if she doesn’t give money a helping hand would be awesome.

Filed under: Angelina Jolie, News

Hayden wants to go down on Alba, Theron and Jolie

Hayden Panettiere has played down rumors she is a lesbian - but admits she’d have a gay affair with a string of Hollywood’s leading ladies.


The 18-year-old insists she doesn’t care if the press think she’s gay, because she would happily date Charlize Theron, Jessica Alba and Angelina Jolie.

She says, “That’s fine with me. If I’m going to be linked with someone, I could do an affair with Angelina Jolie, Jessica Alba or Charlize Theron.”

Wow there wasn’t even rumors that Hayden was gay until she opened her mouth to announce that she would eat half of the ladies of Hollywood’s carpet. And too think she’s only 18, soooo much more to come.

Filed under: Angelina Jolie, Charlize Theron, Hayden Panettiere, Jessica Alba, News

Little Jon Benet grew up

[video]http://www.youtube.com/v/iASM8B1nbl0[/video]
Here’s a video of American baby hatter Angelina Jolie at the age of 16 doing a “modeling” photoshoot. Yeah it’s Angelina but she’s 16 here so keep your hand out of your pants or the Youtube police will bust in your house and confiscate your computer.
Filed under: Angelina Jolie, Dog

Angelina doesn’t want to be married here

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Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have been planning their wedding but the question is where to hold it? Brad wants it in New Orleans, Angelina said hell naw we ain’t doing that in America!

But Jolie had her heart set on a small affair in France, with only their children and her brother James in attendance. The insider claimed when Angie first heard Brad’s idea, including his mother’s role, “she pitched a fit and shrieked, ‘I don’t think so!’”

I agree with Angelina, can you imagine having your wedding in America? Eww the people are soooo dumb, ignorant and obese. France would be alot better. Excuse me while i go yell at the useless Americans with my bullhorn at Wal-mart. Git-R-Done!
Filed under: Angelina Jolie, Dog, News

She may hate American babies but wow

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Angelina Jolie is pregnant and finally gaining some weight, it’s showing all in the right places. Too bad she’s moving to France and gonna get all Anti-America on us.
Filed under: Angelina Jolie, Celebrity Candids, Celebrity Cleavage, Dog

Oh look, now she’s a philosopher

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I just watched Dodgeball and thought that was the perfect title. Anywho American baby hater Angelina Jolie has spoken out telling the U.S to help the millions of innocent Iraqis who have been driven out of their homes.

The actress, 32, is a Goodwill Ambassador for the United Nations High Commissioner For Refugees and believes America has a moral obligation to assist.

‘More than 2 million people are…without homes, jobs and, to a terrible degree, without medicine, food or clean water,’ she writes.

Hang on i turned on CNN and it said we invaded that country a few years ago, we don’t help those people, those people are evil doers. They came here and raped our people and bombed a building or something i think. How dare Angelina say such things, even the little kids are evil cause the parents will grow them to be terrorists and if we don’t kill them there they will kill us here.
Side Note: That was a joke obviously, i swear Friday when i was getting my hair cut a woman was talking just like that.
Filed under: Angelina Jolie, Dog, News