Mr. I-just-fu*ked-my-career-up Chris Brown has finally spoke out about beating the hell outta Rihanna stating:

“Words cannot begin to express how sorry and saddened I am over what transpired. I am seeking the counseling of my pastor, my mother and other loved ones and I am committed, with God’s help, to emerging a better person,” Brown said in a statement issued through publicist Michael Sitrick.

“Much of what has been speculated or reported on blogs and-or reported in the media is wrong,” he added. But he said he couldn’t discuss that in detail until his case is resolved.

Really what can you say? It’s not like he can deny it. Come on look at that forehead, i was just trying to pop her big ass pimple with my fist!

ABC has responded to the reports that there will be lesbian action between Eva Longoria and Teri Hatcher stating:

Anything is kind of possible right now. You’ve got ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ and ‘Private Practice’ basically becoming one two-hour show (with Feb. 12’s crossover episode), the longest ‘Dancing With the Stars’ tease ever. I don’t think a kiss between Eva and Teri’s characters could be ruled out, especially if it keeps people interested in the show.”

How gross is that? Ok the ratings are low! You two whores start making out, people are starting to realize our show sucks! Can ABC respond to the rumor i just started about Eva Longoria accidentally tripping in a future episode and being penetrated by the horse they just won in a wacky fundraiser?

Joaquin Phoenix appeared on David Letterman last night acting extremly eff’ed up. Didn’t his brother die of a drug overdose? Is it suppose to be funny him pretending to be f!cked up on something? Meanwhile Joaquin is working on a mockumentary with Casey Affleck about him leaving Hollywood to work on a rap album produced by P. Diddy. This is so lame and not funny.

TMZ is reporting that singer Chris Brown is being investigated by the LAPD in an alleged assault on a female. Rumors going around are saying the victim is Rihanna.

Cops say they received a 911 call, and when they arrived they noticed the woman had visible injuries. We’re told she then identified Brown as her attacker. Cops say Brown had left the scene by the time police arrived.

Cops say they are looking to speak with Brown and may arrest him when they find him.

When we called reps for Brown’s girlfriend, Rihanna, for a statement, her people told us, “Rihanna is well. Thank you for your concern and support.”

UPDATE: Grammy officials have just announced that Rihanna will neither perform on the show tonight — as scheduled — nor walk the red carpet for the event.

Update 2: MSN is reporting that Rihanna was in a car accident and admitted to the hospital.

Update 3: MediatakeOut is reporting that it was Rihanna that was abused, she did file a police report on Chris, the police are currently searching for Chris Brown.

Update 4: Chris Brown has turned himself in.

Daaaamn! Who woulda thought Chris was a woman beater?

Thanks to Gareth for the video! Anywho actor Christian Bale flipped out while shooting some movie i’m sure i wont watch. I didn’t listen to the whole thing cause after a while it started sounded like a baby-back bitch whining about every little thing. Fu*k a Batman!